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Rally Juice

I recently returned (and only a little worse for wear) from a rather debaucherous trip to Key West for my cousin Melanie’s bachelorette party. I’ve been trying to finish a full post about the things I learned while in Key West but feel like I need a follow up vacation from the Key West vacation last week. Plus, I’ve been swamped with work and capturing our antics in words has been at the bottom of my to do list. Still, we did overhear some pretty funny things while in Key West (things that made me laugh ’til I almost snorted Jameson from my nose … see the picture to the left) and that’s a cinch to share, so here we go. Think of this as a funnier version of the classic Letterman countdown.

THINGS OVERHEARD IN KEY WEST:

12. Girl #1: “Oh my gosh! She hasn’t taken a shower since Thursday!” Girl #2: “Whatever, I’ll take a shower when I get home.” (This was said on Sunday).

11. “That TSA agent was such a bitch. Suck it TSA.”

10. “I’m wearing bikini bottoms … I ran out of panties.”

9. ” A seagull just flew into the propeller. They have to delay boarding. Seriously?”

8. “Face down, something up, that’s the way we like to la de da.”

7. “Sing it like you got a pair!”

6. “My rally juice is wearing off.”

5. “There’s another phallic cloud.”

4. Said while rubbing belly: “This is my PFT … My personal flotation device. I’m totally not gonna drown. So. Much. Beer.”

3. “Does it bother you that I’m straight but I get naked for men to pay my bills?”

2. “Ya’ll should have your own comedy show. I’d totally pay to see it.”

And, last but certainly not least …

1. “My goal today is not to piss myself.”

So, that’s it. Try to see if you can guess who said what. HINT: At least one of them was said by me and one more was said to me. On a side note, here’s the #1 thing I observed while in Key West (other than that there are inordinate amount of very good looking male go go dancers): When you’re over 22 and still have Justin Bieber haircut, you’re a creepy son of a bitch.

Stay tuned for a full post on the Key West trip coming soon.

mpruden

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